(Image: Wet street with mossy old tree and snow-dusted bungalow; white front porch step railings and grass closer on the right.)
So I might have mentioned that I’m moving! Or I guess I need to say that I moved, since at least all the stuff upstairs is out of boxes and put somewhere, even if it isn’t where it will ultimately end up. (I will not be taking any questions about downstairs.)
I am sorry for being off the air so long. You needn’t take it personally — I wasn’t writing anything, not even my journal, for the duration. I am not sure why… once I got out of Humboldt, there was little stress or at least little real reason for stress, and indeed I encountered many delightful people and amusing things. But apparently I, or at least this incarnation of me, needs roots to write.
So now I am looking around me, the first tentative tendrils snaking out to test the soil. And mother of God, it seems full of nutrients!
I am living on a quiet street, lined with old trees and old houses, all full of character and peace… the kind of street I would have walked down as a young woman and said, “Boy, if I were able to live on a street like this, I’d be totally happy. This is what I’m aiming for.” The house itself is a lovely Craftsman bungalow, built in 1906 and replete with wood floors, crown moldings, front porch, back deck and all the fixin’s. Wonderful friends are already here, ready to greet me. Trinity Cathedral has seemingly designed its winter and Lenten program offerings specifically for me — a half-day chanting retreat, Wednesday evening writing group… The Dean is leading a book discussion on Jane Eyre! People will be socially and spiritually obliged to listen to me rant about the Brontes!
This would typically be where the nagging question would arise, “What have I done to deserve this?” I hope I’m getting better at accepting the grace offered to me, but there’s no denying that the good things that come to me haven’t come to everyone, and indeed, there are serious and dangerous structures that were built and continue to be strengthened to keep good things — even basic dignities — from everyone. Guilt isn’t going to do me or anyone else any good, but what will I be able to give back, from what I’ve been blessed to receive from this fertile ground?
The mail recently brought me an Oracle Bird card from Shing Yin Khor, an artist I’m proud to support on Patreon.
(Image: On a black wooden desk surface, a Tarot-like card labeled “the seed pile",” with a mix of differently sized and colored seeds jumbled in the center, and two small round images on the lower edge of a sprouting seed and a fallen leaf.)
This is what the Oracle Bird tells me:
You find yourself with an abundance of something you may not have asked for, but you nevertheless have and can put to satisfying use.
If you feel guilty about the resources that have been afforded to you, redistribute them. The joy of your community is yours as well.
As the days begin to get longer and the air warmer, I invite you to join me in sorting through our seeds — see what wants to be planted, what’s ready to grow and unfold, what will delight and nourish ourselves and our companions in this hungry world, in the days ahead.